ok.
i fuck up again. i'm broken for the same, same reason. i hate it. and that broken-hearted-emotion-stuff hits me to the rock bottom that i lose my appetite. i even starve myself because i want to take away the emotional pain. i know and i don't expect anyone of you to understand why the hell i do such hurting acts on my flesh and bones but just know that emotional pain is way, way painfuller than physical pain. i don't mind at all letting my tummy empty for more than 12 hours. i just couldn't get over the fact that i'm being hurt AGAIN.
so.
the obvious impact i get is my weight decreases massively. i haven't looked like a skinny one but people start to notice that my outfits are baggy and loose. even when i wear my kebaya, it doesn't fit me nicely. i now start to wear again my shirts and blouses which i used to wear back when i was in Auckland (i was diagnosed to suffer from eating disorder, hence my body was shrinking). i now eat less which i find it, is okay. what more, my budget is quite restricted now because i'm putting a huge amount to my savings for my future. i am told i'm being extreme - well, i don't care. one thing for sure, i run towards what i truly want. by hook or by crook, that's it.
anyway.
on a side note, i look quite ok in a few of photos LOL
i don't know why i suddenly have this model-ish feeling hahaha
here are my work and casual outfits.
enjoy!
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| at times i need to rest my eyes, hence the nerdy look |
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| about to feed my kids with extra knowledge on friday night |
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| being a teacher requires me to be outstation too |
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| and weekends are never that boring if i opt for outing |
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| so loose, so don't care |
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| the indian-malay-cultures combination |
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| the palazzo drapes nicely, accentuating my figure |