myCupOfTea

kenapa myCupOfTea?

baru tadi aku google asal-usul frasa myCupOfTea. ouh, by the way, abang aku pernah cakap - setiap peribahasa ada jalan ceritanya. manusia tak senang-senang cipta macam tu je - ting! terus keluar peribahasa. no, no. it doesn't work that way.

"There are a large amount of different drinks available on the earth today, and many people have a preference as to what they drink. One of the more common beverages people consume is tea. In fact, tea is considered to be the most widely consumed beverage in the world next to water. Indeed, tea is a widely known drink that is enjoyed by millions of people. Thus, the idea for this phrase is that when someone or something is to a person's liking, they liken it to a cup of tea" [sumber]

so.

kenapa myCupOfTea?

sebab aku suka dia. suka tengok gaya dia, cara dia, watak dia. suka lah. tapi, seperti yang pernah aku jujurkan pada dia jua, suka tu belum cecah tahap cinta. masih merangkak-rangkak. dan dia pun bertatih lagi - kata dia lahhh. mungkin satu hari nanti, kami berdua akan jatuh cinta (insyaAllah). for the time being, aku mengikut arus. sepertinya, takdir menuliskan yang dia pemilik tulang rusuk aku. 

macam kebanyakan orang lain, kakak aku pernah tanya (ketika kami dalam kereta, baru sudah hantar umi abah tunaikan umrah) - "apa yang buat kau suka pada dia eh?"

aku termenung sekejap. 

kenapa eh?

ikutkan, rata-rata orang sekeliling aku (terutama tesl girls) tahu betapa kisah cinta aku is one kind of hell. aku mendamping rasa cinta sejak zaman kolej mara seremban lagi. patah hati toksah cakap lah. BERKALI. and my problem is always to have difficulty in moving on and getting back on my feet. azabnya la haih. to a point, aku rasa kecewa dan aku patut berhenti menyeksa jiwa raga aku. i have to be selfish, somehow.

jadik, untuk menjawab persoalan kakak, aku katakan yang aku rasa senang dengan dia. senang, as in, aku ok dengan dia. dia buat aku rasa selamat dan tenang. well, aku kan jenis panik-tak-tentu-hala. kalau diberi situasi cemas, aku mungkin dah lari lintangpukang macam orang gila. while him? sedamai kau tengok bukit hijau laksana saujana mata memandang, sebegitu lah dia. cool af.

and that's why people say - to get married is to complement each other.

seperti yang aku katakan tadi, kami berdua adalah dua manusia yang baru nak kenal hati budi. we're getting there (insyaAllah). but how do we end up to have a mutual agreement which led us to this engagement?

nanti aku cerita.

stay tuned.

for many years to come

behind the broken smile

photo by: mr. fiance

a letter to whom it may concern

Hi again,

So, I read your email the moment it went through and I was thinking, yeah, I should have made myself a bit busy. And here's my Saturday - 

I was supposed to do an inspection in aspuri this morning but I had to proceed with my part time job. Both were obviously collided at the same time, so, I texted my ketua aras to still do the inspection on behalf of me. I couldn't afford to let go off my part time job this time just because I went back to Melaka last weekend (remember?). Ok. I attended the job - well, it's actually an English tuition (a one-to-one and I charge the kid RM 30 per hour, what do you think?). It went good. The kid seemed to be satisfied for the first round. She told me she learnt a lot from me since before this, she only writes English based on her 9-years-experience in school. She hasn't got a proper education particularly in writing English. I kind of..er..I don't know. Pity on her? But at the same time I'm glad she was happy. The grin on her face clearly showed that she felt all this is going to be worthwhile.

Packing up my stuff in the staff room (the tuition was conducted at my working space) and quickly headed to my car. I started the engine and drove to Baling to do my grocery. It was quite surprising though because the supermarket I went to is having a renovation. I don't know since when it happens - I rarely do grocery, to be honest. I picked anything I wanted - pita bread, carrots, cabbage, lemons, maggie (curry flavour), dark chocolate bar (the small one), peanuts, frozen curry puff, french fries (thin-cut ones, just like the McD's), noodles paste (i'm bad at cooking, so I opt for something easy) and not to forget, I called my mom when I stood right in front of bakery shelves. I asked her which flour should I buy to make onde2/buah melaka. She told me it's glutinous rice flour (ah!). So, I grabbed one as well as palm sugar. Back in Auckland, I couldn't find the usual Malaysian palm sugar (the brownish black). I substituted it with palm sugar imported from China (it's very light brownish). Anyhow, the taste is closed enough to our onde2/buah melaka. Now, the only thing I couldn't find in the supermarket is desiccated coconut. I dashed to a pay counter, handed my debit card and drove back to Pengkalan Hulu.

At that time, it was already 2.30pm. My tummy was grumbling. I hadn't have anything since morning. I parked in front of a mamak stall and ordered a takeaway half-plate nasi kandar. Just then, I noticed there was a wet market next to the mamak stall. So, I went to it to get my coconut. Unlucky me, there wasn't any - "depa dah lama tak hantaq kelapa naakk" . Fine, pakcik. Fine.

Finally. Home.

Took all my grocery items and...surprise surprise. My fridge was broken down. The ice on the top compartment went melting. I was panic (as usual) but I tried to make myself cool. Oh, by the way, I'm home alone. Both my housemates went back to their hometown. They are the locals. So. The fridge. I texted the warden's whatsapp group, to whom should I contact to fix this problem. A KH teacher asked me whether the plug was functioning well or otherwise. Being me, I only studied KH for the theoretical sake, not the practicality. I asked the group again - how should I know that? Other senior wardens started responding - "you soooo cute In" "In..in..you so funny" urgghhhh I was being real and panicky and did not know what to do. How could they possibly find this isn't serious? Long story short, it was actually the adapter that wasn't working, hence shutting down the fridge. Performed the zohor prayer, ate the unappetizing nasi kandar (I will never ever buy it) and drove to a hardware shop in Pengkalan Hulu to get a new one. 

Great. The fridge is back on its feet.

5-ish in the evening.

My girls were ranting lots of stuff on the whatssapp group. One was complaining about her wedding thingy - the dress, the dates, the fiance (HAHAHA), the invitation (and I was thinking - is it this hard to organize a wedding?? oh dear). One was talking about how alone she was at the moment, hence a chocolate moist cake all by herself (what a craze). One was sharing about her course in Lenggong before posting to an MRSM. And me? Well. I just spiced up every little thing they said heeee

6.11pm.

I decided to wash my car. Parked it right in front of the so-called yard. Got the micro fiber towel and car shampoo. I ended it at 6.45pm and since I had few minutes before 7pm, I thought, perhaps I should go to aspuri to check on kids.

Oh yes. I suddenly turned into a grumpy, fierce warden. I took those names who were late to clear the block (hihi!). I bet kids were never expecting I would be there around this hour. 

Alright.

I think I need to pen off now. I have to get ready for my kids' speaking test. Besides, this reply has been a long one. 

Don't you think my Saturday is busy enough?

Thanks for the advice - appreciate it much.

Until then, take care.

I see you in the next letter.

Loves,

In.

Rx - TESL

Currently writing in the staff room while waiting for my class - -

So, hi.

We meet again. I'm still breathing (thank God). I'm still surviving (yes, I am).

I'm actually not that OK - emotionally. Physically - yes, I am. I'm doing good. I took meals these past few days. In fact, I binged eating. But, that's only for a day. The next day, I fasted from dawn till dusk. Anyway, since I know I'm not OK, I contacted Val. I whatsapped her and showed her few of my artworks. She complimented me. I was happy. Drawing is the exact medium to express my emotions. Though I draw sad faces, I manage to draw smiles at the same time. I can't lose hope. Even if the world is shutting down, I have to have a hope to be happy (at least). That's why there is a few smiles in my drawing.

In conjunction of Inktober2016, I try my best to keep up with it. It's literally a challenge for me because I have to juggle my working life as a teacher and my own personal life. Sometimes, I stay awake at night to finish up my drawing. I don't know. Some people might see it absurd - why would you torture yourself, burning the midnight oil just for the sake of inking some white papers? - but the truth is, it's a satisfaction to me. I want to let go of my feelings. I want to let go of the burden I've been shouldering all by myself. Yes, I do feel lonely. It's just enough with being alone for most of the time. Lonely? It's a total disaster. 

So far, I have drawn six doodles based on the themes given by Mr. Parker. I think that's a good achievement. I should have thanked Mr. Parker for creating this Inktober2016 because I'm driven to  improve my drawing skills. Not to forget, I gradually found my signature drawing and yeah, it feels good to finally have one of your own. My drawing habit is also nurtured days by days. My fingers are no longer stiff to run curves on papers. I know I'm way behind with the Inktober2016. October is approaching its end and yet, I only have six doodles. Nonetheless, I'll keep on drawing until I finish all the themes given. 

Oh, by the way. With the themes that Mr. Parker has laid out, I also incorporate them with a sense of loving couple. AND THAT DOUBLE UP THE CHALLENGE!

Here are the doodles I created ; 

theme: Rock
theme: Broken

"we're not broken, just bend. and we can learn to love again"

  

theme: Lost

without you, i'm lost

theme: Jump

i jump over the moon whenever i think about you

theme: Transport

someday, we shall transport together to the world of ours

theme: Worried

we are of two different people - i'm always be the worried one while you're
the worried-less. even so, it is this difference that would make us
complement to each other. i hope you can stand with my insanely never-
ending worries. slap me if you must.

theme: Tree

i'd like to build a family tree with you. would you, too?