"pain happens when you care" (lisa cuddy, 2010)
and it is not when you don't.
in my words, pain is born out of love.
my life is filled with people who i allow them to cross in my heart and stay there as long as i want them to be there. when i put them into the space i've created in my very own special way, i love them unconditionally and infinitely that i rather to put myself behind or above anything else, just to make sure they are alright without even being hurt by the slightest of any harm.
i must say that one of the good points about love is, it is the craziest element to be exist in the entire of human creation. agreeing with lionel richie as his music sings "love will conquer all", it is not too much to speculate that love has its undeniable ultimate power which can rule beyond our scientific, logical thinking and affect us greatly in many unimaginable directions. for instance, we can become irrational as we learn to fall in love. we can become insane as we learn to be touched by some hearts. we can become unrealistic when we learn to give and take the love that starts to bloom. and, to allow yourself to getting involve in love means you are ready to face anything it may pay you along the journey you will have ahead.
love requires you the A-to-Z needs and sometimes, you just can't justify the reasons behind every decision and action you take. remember, love is a powerful tool that always tends to turn you to be three-sixty degrees in clueless state. so, you might suddenly incline to have the highest level of protectiveness, security, self-sacrifice, adoration, affection and also care, without you even realize they actually start to be imprinted on your dna.
let's take the element of care into our discussion. as we love them, we care them. as we care them, we love them. these components may go in both ways and absolutely come hand in hand. to be put into a hypothesis statement - the more you love someone, the more you will care about him or her. or, the more you care someone, the more you will love him or her. both statements can be interpreted differently but the main issue here is still centered by the feeling upon human being.
i would take 'care' as an independent variable while 'love' is my dependent variable. however, before we make a correlation between these two variables, i would like to propose another variable and it is 'pain'. therefore, my first attempt is to relate the elements of 'pain' and 'care', and from that point, i will try to connect it with 'love'.
giving a situation here, i care my biological sister a lot. yes, a real lot. she is the only sister i have in my whole life and no one can ever replace her regardless how many sisters kindly treat me like their own family. bonded by blood and only death will be the only reason we become apart, i was very much anxious the moment my future brother in law entered her life. i was scared to death if she would be hurt again by men. i was extremely worried if her face was swollen because of the tears caused by the good-for-nothing, uncivilized so-called gentlemen. those bitter days were just too much for her.
too. much.
and i couldn't stand anymore with the pain she's been going through. worse enough, i couldn't do anything to at least, repair her. thus, wasn't it horrible when we see our loved one had his or her poignant stage of life and we were really helpless back there? yeah, i was totally sucks to catch her before she fell. o how i wish i could erase those days for her and let her smile shines every now and then, yet how could that be possible? being powerless, it hurts me and this is so much right to say - "pain happens when you care".
to simplify ;
i feel the pain because i care for her and i care for her because i love her. therefore, isn't this ringing my first statement "pain is born out of love" ?
other example would be my experience involving a close friend of mine. we had this argument just an hour before i took my first advanced academic written english test. an hour before. i was out of control that i slipped some words which i shouldn't say to him. it was awful and indeed, i felt really bad. realizing all those nasty words perfectly came from my lips, i tried to save our friendship before he walked out from the door. i tried. and i failed. after all, he was the one who didn't give me a second chance and pushed me away with a real hard. therefore, i am accepting the fact that we are no longer friends. it was ugly seeing the moment he left me because all this while, i had always care about him. to me, listening to his stories never been a bored. reminding him about taking care of himself never been an exhausted. and helping him out whenever i can, never been a tired. because of the care i had upon him, i felt pain literally in my heart a few minutes before i sat for the test.
but then, the pain has gone now because as what he vaguely requested from me, i am no longer care anything about him at all. it was quite difficult at first, yet, for this is his last request, i should do him a favour.
so, in my conclusion, i couldn't agree more with cuddy when she says "pain happens when you care" and as you care, it shows that you have love in between the lines.
pain ?
it's a bless.
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